Zen (and the art of killing)
Ikkyu, the Zen master, was very clever even as a boy. His teacher had a precious teacup, a rare antique. Ikkyu happened to break this cup and was greatly perplexed. Hearing the footsteps of his teacher, he held the pieces of the cup behind him. When the master appeared, Ikkyu asked: ``Why do people have to die?'' |
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To all K.A.O.S. agents, Your mission is to produce a detailed plan to eliminate the UCSA President, with a minimum of unnecessary collateral damage. It should preferably look 'natural'. There will be no need to undertake any feasibility tests of your plan; it's much more important that it be a cunning plan, an innovative plan and most importantly, an entertaining plan. |
Mark and Danny in the Greek Hotel Bold as badgers on a one-take mission Got their equipment from a dwarf outside On the trail of any suspect wisdom Pond-Life beneath a Southern sky (They make their move then they head off to the border) They don't care as long as you can pay Whatever - whatever they say |
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Chorus: We're on the road and we're Gunning for the buddha We Know his name and he mustn't get away We're on the road and we're Gunning for the buddha It would take one shot - To blow hum away... |
Hypothetically, it's 5:00pm on a Monday. There will be an Exec meeting at 6:30, and the president will be 'working' in his office until late. It's probably going to rain sometime in the evening. Avoid the registry security guards where possible. In the event of your (hypothetical) capture, the Dictator will deny all knowledge of your actions. |
For this task, you can assume the existence of the following
equipment, which are either immediatly available or in the
location specified:
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Now's the time to have some big ideas Now's the time to make some firm decisions We saw the Buddha in a bar down south Talking politics and nuclear fission We see him but he's all washed up - Moving on into the body of a beetle Getting ready for a long long crawl He ain't nothing - He ain't nothing at all... |
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Death and Money make their point once more In the shape of Philosophical assassins Mark and Danny take they bus uptown Deadly angels for reality and passion Have the courage of the here and now Don't take nothing from these half-baked buddhas When you think you've got it paid in full You've got nothing - You've got nothing at all...[1] |
Completed plans should be submitted to
John, or given to the Dictator by Wednesday 26th of August, with judgement
taking place whenever I get around to it (possibly by that
Friday). Agents should include there names and email
addresses (and you can form teams, if you like).
Entries will be graded on style, originality, amusement value, obscure references that I recognize, and probably not on anything like 'chance of success'. The entries which best represent the spirit of a true K.A.O.S. operative will be awarded some pretty certificates and immortal fame, with their winning entry published on the K.A.O.S. web site[2]. |
| `You're in a maze of twisting passages, all alike.' |
A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating his
morning meal. ``I would like to give you this personality test'', said the outsider, ``because I want you to be happy.'' Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the toaster, saying: ``I wish the toaster to be happy, too.'' |
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