Operation Bubbly Kumquat Fizz:

Chinese New Year battle against the Asian Ancestral Army

We've been invited to attend this event by ALFs Imperial Army, to help keep China British. We all know how that one turns out in the end don't we, so lets get out there and lose with style.

I've been informed that there will be a lot of Chinese. Well, there are a lot of Chinese, but I mean there will be a lot at the battle, some 150 odd if reports are to be believed. That means that this is likely to be the largest battle of the year, and therefore not to be missed!

Given that we want as many KAOS people to get involved as possible, the emphasis is on quantity rather than quality. If you'd like to come, but don't have a unit, just put on a KAOS T-shirt and show up; no worries. The general staff can take care of any necessary organisational details. Oh, and bring a paper sword

ALFs will have strategic command over this epic defeat, so officers are asked to defer to requests from ALFs officers (recognisable by the pips or crowns on their epaulettes).

Should any one happen to want to fight as a Red-coat for the day, ALFs have a handy supply of uniforms available. Feel free to contact either Captain Layton or Sergeant Cutts to take the Queen's shilling, before the actual day.

If you want to be nurse, KEA also has a supply of uniforms available, in a variety of sizes.

The usual guidelines for forming KEA units apply, but if you're disorganised we'd really like you to turn up anyway this time. If you do want to form a unit, it's suggested that you might want to try forming a themed unit based on one of the other European colonial powers active in China in the 19^th century (e.g. French, Italian, Russian, German or American), but as usual it's up to you.

We have been informed that there will be flour bombs. There will be water bombs. There may be even be smoke bombs and porridge bombs. Any "soft" weapon is legal, even automatic nerf weapons. Not exactly cricket, but then the Chinese didn't play cricket in the 19^th century. Try to avoid making a mess of the gardens.

Plan of Attack:

1. Muster and Orientation. We arrive at the park sometime before 3pm. Given the time it generally takes us to get organised, it's recomended you don't leave it later than 2:30. We establish the identities of the various teams and non-combatants (commentators, press, nurses, necromancers etc). Group photos are taken, officers are issued rank insignia.
2. Battle is joined. We follow ALFs lead on this. Martial sillyness ensues. There may be even heraldic animals.
3. Epilogue and defeat. We pick up our rubbish. The Europeans get sent back to Europe-land.
4. Grooming. Bathe and change into a clean uniform (or clean black clothes or whatever). Remember to look like a KAOS agent for...
5. Dinner! At 7pm, combatants are shouted a very big dinner by the enemy at a Chinese resturant, the name and location of which I'm not going to publish on the internet to prevent deadbeats putting on some sort of uniform and trying to scam a free lunch off our honourable foes. Don't worry, I'll be sure to tell you where to go. As both ALFs and ourselves will be the guests here, there will probably be no piano hurling, unfortunately.

The following day is an Edwardian Picnic in Hagley Park for those of you who like that kind of thing. ALFs do.