Section Two: The Powers That Be
The Constitution
The KAOS constitution is an ancient and venerable document which lists
the various regulations of KAOS and the way in which it is to be run.
Due to the crisis caused by a previous corrupt administration the
Dictator currently rules through the Emergency Powers invested in them
by a meeting of the Politburo. The exact particulars of the
constitution are secret and anyone revealing them is subject to arrest
without trial and immediate Death by Disco. A copy of the
Constitution will be posted on the KAOS noticeboard.
The Dictator
The Dictator, may she live forever, is the current President For Life
of KAOS, the woman responsible for governing in the best traditions of
the Borgia family and making the trains run on time to the LCR, and as
such is in charge of everything and everyone. Her word is final in
all disputes, and anyone who does not find it final will be dealt with
by the Executioner or the Assassin (whose actions are very final). If
you want to run a Killing Round or hold a party, the Dictator is the
woman you want to see. For those of you who are interested in
politics, KAOS works on a one woman, one vote system. The Dictator is
the woman and she has the vote!
The Politburo
The Politburo is a small, carefully selected group of loyal agents who
(usually through some fault of their own) are there to do all those
organisational things which the Dictator can't be bothered doing.
Exceptionally skilled, depraved or stylish agents may be rewarded with
promotion to the Politburo, however it must be said that lazy
Politburo members may be purged by the Dictator and exiled to the far
end of the Lower Common Room. Politburo members have the privilege of
free access to the dossier files and their own individual Codename.
Some Agents have said that the Politburo is no more than the
Dictator's Harem, but this is just one of the perks that goes with the
onerous job of being Dictator.
Every member of the Politburo is incorruptible, but this is
negotiable. An honest Politburo member is one who stays bought.
- The Lord High Executioner:
His job is to oversee the execution of any
agent who has committed an executionable offence. Executionable
offences include breaking any rules of a Killing Round (such as
shooting water pistols inside), fondling the Executioners Wife at
parties (which may or may not be an executionable offence -it depends,
do you feel lucky?), not filling out your dossier form correctly, or
anything deemed serious enough by the Dictator to warrant execution.
Ordinary Agents may petition the Dictator to have other KAOS Agents
executed - but remember thou shalt not waste thy Dictator's time! - The Dictator's Bodyguard:
A fearless individual who would hurl
himself onto a live grenade to save his beloved Dictator. If you are
foolish enough to attempt anything against the Dictator you will be
met with fearless retaliation from the Dictator's personal Bodyguard,
who will deal with you in his own special way. In killing rounds you
must kill the Dictator's Bodyguard before you can attempt to kill the
Dictator. - The Dictator's Assassin:
This year no Assassin has been appointed.
However if there were such an Agent they would not have to wear
their badge when executing the Dictators wishes -or should I say
"victims"? We would like to make it very clear that Malcolm Harbrow
is not now, nor has ever been, nor will he ever be The Dictator's
Assassin. Honest. You trust us don't you, we're not like the others
(oh all right, so we are like the others...).
- Q:
Q is the agent in charge of regulating weapons use. Any new
weapons must be submitted to him for approval. If approved a permit
will be issued, valid for only one killing round and one person (year
long permits may be granted by the Dictator and the Grand Vizier after
all applicable forms have been filled out in triplicate and a suitable
amount of chocolate fish have changed hands), and in some cases only
one victim. So, if you HAVE to kill your target with a photon torpedo
or an Orgasmatron (TM), then you will have to demonstrate the weapon
to Q, in the latter case perhaps repeatedly. - Grand Vizier:
The Grand Vizier is the Agent responsible for ensuring
that all of the Dictator's -may she live forever- magnificent plans
are actually brought to fruition. As such he is The Lord of the Files
and should be approached first with any idea in order to avoid unduly
irritating the Dictator with the trivial paperwork of state affairs.
Contact Phone number CENSORED. May also be found plotting - er
working - in the Exec Workroom when not hiding out in the Lower Common
Room. The Grand Vizier is most definitely not the Head of the Secret
Police, however should you feel the need to inform on a KAOS agent... - Witch finder General:
The Witch finder General is the agent directed
to find witches, a witch being anyone who does not subscribe to one of
the approved heresies. The Witch finder has intimate and general
experience with witches, and as such can recognise the signs of the
craft. What the Witch finder does with witches, once found, is a
matter of negotiation. - The Old Man of the Mountains:
The Agent in charge of the Guild of
Assassins. Those few agents admitted by the Old Man of KAOS into the
Guild are usually the best of the best, the creme de la creme, a few
personal favourites and agents with more money than brain cells.
Anyone wishing to hire an Assassin must first gain approval from this
agent.
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