Section Seven: KAOS Philosophy

KAOS is a club dedicated to;

1. the enjoyment of life (and death) in all it's many facets.
2. the lightening of the atmosphere of the University.
3. taking the mickey out of anything mickeable.
4. defending the reputation of the University of Canterbury on the battlefield.
5. throwing the wildest parties since the ancient Greeks.
6. maximum involvement in student politics so long as we do not actually have to do any work.
7. restoration of the Hapsburgs & Holy Roman Empire (or just about anything else).

The aim of KAOS is to kill people, not to hurt them. Please remember that KAOS is supposed to be fun, so don't do anything that will ruin someone else's day.

KAOS FAQ [Frequently Asked Questions]

How do I get a Codename?

1. Fill out the paperwork and bribe the Dictator.
2. Excellent performance in a killing round.
3. Memorable performance at a Party. If everyone talks about your toes for a week, you've done it.

1. Bribe Q.
2. Bribe the Agent running the round.
3. Bribe any other Politburo member to forge the permit for you.

How do I find out about the Agents I'm after in a killing round?

1. Bribe the Agents running the round to see your victims dossier file.
2. Hang around the LCR and quiz the other Agents about your victim?
3. Hang around the LCR and see if your victim turns up to find out about you.

How do I find out where this weeks party is?

1. Ring the Contact Phone Number (CENSORED).
2. Ask someone in the LCR or in Jimmy's Cafe on Thusday/Friday afternoon.
3. Read the noticeboard, open party invitations are posted there (sometimes!).
4. Hold the party yourself!

How do I get onto the Politburo?

1. Bribe the Dictator.
2. Run killing rounds and other activities for the Dictator.
3. Bonk the Dictator senseless for at least six weeks.

How do I get to be Dictator instead of the Dictator?

1. Have the Dictator appoint you as their Heir.
2. Stage a successful coup.
3. Go to another Campus and set KAOS up there.

This handbook has been bought to you by the numbers 23, 5 and the letters F, N, O, R and D. The following people made useful suggestions which were incorporated into this wonder epic of prose; The Dictator, The Politburo, MUSA KAOS Branch, and countless other Proles who shall remain nameless. Hail Eris! Hail Discordia! Praise Bob! Ia Ia Cthulhu Fatghn! Typing: the Grand Vizier (will work for food, might sell Soul for jellybabies; Help the starving millions - Feed ME!), also the Webmonkey obviously (will work for peanuts; ooh-ooh-ooh-aah-ahh-ahh!) Arrogance: Icehawk aka Cuddles, aka FrostFalcon, aka Snowgoose, aka Slushsparrow. You'll never find a nicer pair of jackboots applied to your forebrain. Kapok Stuffing: Edward Ursus, who is not now, nor has he ever been a member of KAOS. Honest. Really, we mean it this time. He just goes to the parties, ok? Remember, BearNet knows all, burn the furry buggers before they ......(mmmphh!) Hardware: Ozymandius King of Kings, Mike McGregor, Shub-Sethop, Wintermute (are you glad to see me or is that a monolith in you pocket?) Funding: The UCSA Clubs Committee for their generous support of KAOS (Greasy Bum Lick), and all of those KAOS Agents who actually PAID their membership fee this year, thank you very much it's lovely here in Florida. Proofreading: Urizen, aka the Sloth, aka the Hairy One, aka He Who Can Remember Everything (badly). The Dictator - may she live forever, Q, Danial Towse, Monolith Industries Inc, Eddie. Religious Support: The New Church of the Great Old Ones (trust me, you don't want to know). Why are you reading this? Are you expecting some kind of cash prize offer? Note: Truth in advertising Laws do not apply to Club Handouts. In the event of a unexpected outbreak of universal heat death, do not expect a refund of your membership fee - you have been warned!